Missing in Action

Hello! I see that I did a stellar job with my blog last year. Two whole posts....oops! The boys were busy, my shop was busy, and I guess life happened. Actually alot happened while I was gone. While we were on a trip to visit my husbands family in Colorado and Wyoming in July, I got the worst call from my sister. My mom was in the hospital. She was in the hospital and I was as far away as I could possibly be. There wasn't much I could do but get daily updates. She got out the day we got back home. We spent the rest of the summer with her as much as we could. She still wasn't 100%, but we were hopeful for her improvement.

Then in October we were out for a family party and she went back to the hospital. After a week in the hospital, she unexpectedly died. We were completely unprepared for this. Prior to the first stint in the hospital, she was a vibrant, active retiree. We were planning to bring her home in a day or so. Worst part was, again I was too far away. My sister called me at 5:30 in the morning to come to the hospital. I got in the car and started to drive the 90 minutes to where she was, but I didn't make it on time. She called me three times to drive faster, but the distance was too great. While on my drive, as I prayed for my mom to get better, there was a sudden fog surrounding everything. And I knew that any day after that was going to be a giant gift from God. Deep down I think that fog was God's embrace around us as he took her to heaven. And later that day, I realized that the prior three months were the gift that I had been given of time with her.

Even through all the pain, I know that she is at peace and not in pain anymore. Even through all the pain, I know that God was preparing me for this - with conversations that included words like "her heart may not be healed". Even through all the pain, I know that he was with me and my whole family during the hardest times.

Now I am trying preserve her memory for my boys, one of which will probably be too young to really remember much about her. She is on his mind though, just this week he asked if she was still at the hospital when we drove past one.

It has been five months and this pain still weighs heavy on my heart daily, so there may be a touch of sadness to my blog this year. If you are feeling sad from a loss too, or know someone who is, please download this free printable sign to share with them. Although nothing dulls the pain, remembering does bring a smile to your face....eventually.